Roofers

The Slice of Heaven is located in an area that has seasonal work which occasionally calls for demo crews, roofers, contractors, and other various outdoor laborers to decend upon us. They sniff out 'Heaven like bloodhounds on a coon. While we have found them to be mostly good ole boys, they do have a few peculiarities. How can you spot 'em?

You might be a Roofer if:

• Your shoulder span is greater than your IQ
• You chase natural disasters looking for work
• All of your t-shirts are missing sleeves because your shoulders don't fit
• Your answer to "can you conjugate a verb" is "Conju-what?"
• Your regular housing arrangements include 8 guys to a room
• Getting dressed up means wearing your cap with the company logo
• You know to the ounce how much you can bench press
• Your definition of the good life: when your paycheck covers your bar tab
• You think buying a woman a shot is the ultimate romantic gesture
• Words that are synonymous to you: Parking Lot/Toilet
• You think "I'm just gonna sit here and look at your tits" is a great line
• Your last-ditch, roll-the-dice line is "If you're not going to be nice to me, I guess I'm going home to jerk off and go to sleep" (hey, bubba, don't let the door hit you in the ass on yer way out)
• You sit around in shithole bars and make fun of the shinglemakers
• Your aftershave bears a striking resemblance to tar shampoo
• You can maneuver the ramp at the Slice of Heaven with a beer in each hand and a woman on your back!!!